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This period represents a ten-year milestone since the phrase “ghosting” entered the common lexicon. At the time, the concept that someone could abruptly cease contact with a partner without explanation seemed like the pinnacle of indignity. Our innocence was charming. In the ten-year span since, seeking a partner has only become more confounding – an frequently unsuccessful exercise in embarrassment that is increasingly shaped by social media jargon.

Gen Z, a generation who matured during a social isolation crisis, a masculinity crisis, and a widespread assault on the freedoms of women and the queer community, faces a significantly more chaotic landscape than their Gen Y forerunners could ever envision. And so their dating vocabulary has grown longer and more bizarre, with phrases like “Shrekking” and “monkey branching” straining the boundaries of your sanity.

What follows is a comprehensive glossary to the words this generation is using to navigate romance, intimacy and the search of both. To paraphrase one of the recent most popular online sayings, by the conclusion of this glossary you’ll ache to get back to a bygone era – because wherever that is, it doesn’t have “ideological catfishing”.

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A

Genuineness – According to Zoomers, dating’s ultimate goal is presenting as your real, unvarnished self. Good luck with that!

B

Avian theory – A TikTok trend loosely based on a test developed by relationship scientists, in which you bring up something trivial – for example, “A bird flew by earlier” – and observe whether your date's response is engaged or brushed off. If they aren't interested to hear more about the bird, you two are headed for splitsville.

Mysterious girlfriend – Gen Z’s rebuttal to the “quirky fantasy girl” stereotype of the early 2000s – but rather than having baby bangs, liking The Smiths and eschewing commitment, the black cat girlfriend prioritizes herself while exuding enigma and self-sufficiency. (She might still have baby bangs.)

The Letter C

Chair theory – This signifies seeking out someone who aids you unprompted. If you walked into a room, they would pull up a seat for you to take a load off.

Errand romance – A outing where two people connect while running errands, such as walking the dog or grocery shopping. In other words, how financially strained twentysomethings do low-cost romance in a post-“$5 beer and shot combo” world.

Crashing out – Melting down when you feel burdened by life. You can lose it over a crush or split, dumping all of your unreciprocated emotions.

The Letter D

DINK – Dual income no kids. Once a symbol of 1980s yuppie affluence, it describes partners who forgo parenthood to prioritize their own happiness. Or because they cannot afford to become parents.

The Letter E

Emotional vibe coding – The antithesis of playing it cool: practicing dialogue, transparency and openness.

The Letter F

Signals

• Danger signals – Personal habits suggesting a potential partner is trouble. For instance calling their former partners crazy, subpar gratuity habits, a fondness for controversial director films, a new DJ career …
• Good indicators – These quirks affirm your choice to date a mate. Such as following up to make sure you got home safely after a date, minimal phone use, owning a bed frame …
• Odd but harmless traits – These usually describe specific, largely harmless idiosyncrasies. For instance being an enthusiastic birdwatcher, still keeping a biro in their wallet, paying rent in physical money …

Shared obsession pairing – When you connect with someone who’s just as obsessive about films about the second world war or physical media hoarding or collaging or whatever it may be, as you. Or, on the flip side, meeting someone who loathes the same things or individuals that you do (few things fosters closeness faster than sharing a nemesis).

G

The band Geese – A band many young men listens to.

Phantom reappearing – Someone who resurfaces into your life after a length of ghosting.

Loyal boyfriend – Someone who is affable, accommodating and devoted. The uncommon partner who is liked by all of his partner’s friends, and a black cat girlfriend's opposite.

Prolonged session enthusiasts – A mostly online community of men so fixated with self-pleasure that they attempt lengthy sessions, deliberately delaying climax so they can persist as long as possible.

H

Gloomy heterosexuality – A trend describing many women’s increasing pessimism toward straight relationships. It will come as no surprise to anyone who read the previous entry.

Manosphere archetype – An ideal promoted by manosphere figures: a woman who is attractive, nurturing and happily home-oriented, who seemingly has no ambitions of her own aside from pleasing her male partner. Perhaps now you’re beginning to understand the whole “pessimism” thing better?

I

Turn-offs – Arbitrary and frequently trivial dealbreakers that immediately shut down any sense of attraction.

“Actions speak louder" – Something to keep in mind after you watch someone else get an extremely romantic display.

J

Professions – These have not been this crucial in the romance landscape since the greed-is-good era. For some women, a “finance bro” is the ideal partner: a fleece-vest-wearing, conservative-leaning guy who will be a provider (there’s a popular TikTok song on the topic). Meanwhile the anti-capitalist crowd prefer partners in professions they believe are being staffed by the more caring among us: healthcare workers, teachers or therapists.

K

Kissing – This year, researchers learned that the kiss has existed for 16 million years. But the days of locking lips may be waning since some Zoomers desire fewer intimate scenes in film, as they are having less sex themselves and do not find onscreen intimacy authentic.

Light catfishing – Slight exaggeration. Or, not exactly being dishonest about who you are, but maybe using older (better) pictures of yourself on a online profile, or making your job sound more prestigious than it is. Also known as {